History in the making
Jonathan: Today An Gàrradh Mòr became a visitor attraction. Must be – there’s an ‘interpretation board’ by the south gate! And very nice it is too – I made it. There are two panels on the board: ‘A history writ in soil & stone’ describing the … ah yes you’ve worked that out for yourself … and ‘A living heritage at The Big Garden’. The latter makes a brave if not entirely convincing attempt to persuade readers that they have stumbled upon a point in the time-space continuum where something extraordinary is happening, and which they can be truly part of by allowing themselves to be separated from some of their money. Alas the tension and sense of peril may be too much for some folk, for they appear to read the first paragraph (okay, the first few lines) of each panel, and then vanish into thin air. Which is exactly what we intended, because we are sick to death of answering the same questions, from the marginally inane ‘Did you build the walls yourself?’ to the presumptious ‘You don’t come from here, do you’ (as statement, not question) to the preposterously paradoxical ‘It must be so private in here!’ Those that ask these questions rarely buy anything – they just entertain themseles at our expense. Well, from now on any visitor that is so foolish as to ask us about anything other than garden produce or hand-spinning – will be politely but firmly asked whether they did in fact come in to the garden through the gate, or whether they teleported in from another dimension, because – on the working hypothesis that it was probably the former, on their way out [significant pause] they will notice that they walked right past our ‘interpretation board’ which at great cost to ourselves (and deomonstrating the highest order of skill and passion) has been provided to anticipate their most profound desire for knowledge and understanding, you know, that sign they banged the car door into as they got out. Well, okay, we’ll probably say, there’s an information board by the gate – you may have not noticed it. And by the way, when they go out they do indeed stop to read – the first few lines. You might like to read a few lines yourself – they’re right here
[Note added 18 Feb 2012: These notices have been revised a number of times since this post, but the attached files are the originals, warts-n-all.]
An Gàrradh Mòr, Uibhist a Deas: Interpretation Board – Panel 1
An Gàrradh Mòr, Uibhist a Deas: Interpretation Board – Panel 2
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