No Exploring, No Dogs – Thank You
Jonathan & Denise >
This is the gate through which visitors enter the walled garden.
The not-so-very-small print?
Private Garden : No exploring, No Dogs – Thank You!
We added that to our gate notice, early in 2016, because we were increasingly finding people exploring the garden without asking permission, to the point we felt it didn’t even feel like our own garden any more.
So why is it, then, that we still find come across folk – sometimes entire families, sometimes even with a dog (on a lead) wandering around the garden, tramping on borders, peering into our greenhouses (we keep the doors locked), commenting on this or that, children climbing on fences or walls? We’ve even caught folk helping themselves to our soft fruit!
We try to be courteous : “Can we help you?”. It’s become a fixed expression, just like our faces.
Answers are variations on a theme of ‘No’ :
- I’m/We’re just looking – if that’s alright.
[The question-tag is optional, but sounds more like a statement.] - Do you have an salad leaves I/we can buy?
[Nowhere is there anything that says we sell vegetables.] - Just admiring your greenhouse-reinforcements/chickens/compost-heaps/blackcurrants/gooseberries!
[Do you think we can pay utility bills in complements instead of cash?] - My wife’s in your shop … she’s sure to buy something
[but it turns out the wife was also ‘just looking’ – but at our craft work, not the garden, and has already left]
Us : “The garden is private. It says so on the gate you came in through”.
(Another fixed expression – we’ve had lots of practice.)
Them: “Oh I’m/we’re so sorry, I/we didn’t know/see/realize! I’ll/we’ll leave now.”
It would be different if they’d come to the house to pay for something they wanted, and took the opportunity to ask. Depending on circumstances, we might well say “That’s fine – but look out for the hosepipes and other trip-hazards”. But they don’t ask – they just take.
A patched-panorama of walled, from the ridge of the house.
Those who grant themselves the liberty of exploring our private garden – they never buy anything – even if left to explore unchallenged (because we’re too busy with something or other). By contrast, those that buy first, only a very few ask – no more than a handful – ask to look round the garden: they seem to be content with what they see from the walk up to the house, and from conversation with us.
The difference is respect. Those who try their luck and slip into the parts of the garden out of sight from the house – before we spot them, these people have no respect for us or our privacy or our garden – or anything. They just take, and have no intention of giving – no intention of encountering us at all, let alone an exchange of conversation and mutual interest. Thankfully, the majority of visitors to our garden show not merely the respect that is due to anyone else’s private person and home, but understanding, appreciation and pleasure in their visit, making the transaction one of true mutual benefit.
English
Basque
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Dutch
Finnish
French
German
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Korean
Polish
Portuguese
Scottish Gaelic
Spanish
Welsh
That’s pretty crazy, but I have come home to find people feeding our chickens, walking through the yard, and “just looking!” My favorite I found was a lady trying to open the door to my husband’s police car in the driveway because her grandson would love to look inside. Um, definitely locked.
O M G ! ! !
Exactly! She should have thanked me for me finding her because it wouldn’t have gone the same if it were the mister!!
my neighbour on Scalpay used to call such people time wasters, I used to use a room in my house, most people were respectful thankfully but some thought it gave them the right to have the run of the house, especially my bathroom, and as you say they are always the ones who never buy anything,
I don’t know if Denise has expericenced the crafty women who want exact details on how you do things so they can go away and try it, or those that turn craft items every which way to ‘see’ how you made it so they can go home and copy,
on the other side there are also lots of wonderful respectful people that are a joy to meet, Frances
ps. you need a bell on the gate so you know when it is opened
D > Thank you so much for your understanding, Frances. You are absolutly right about the brain-pickerers. For this very reason we were reluctant to sell any patterns, but now that we do, they are sealed up in cellophane bags. I think it’s only due to the numerous really genuinely lovely people we meet that we keep going.
J > Thank you Frances. The garden gate is about 50 metres from the house, and of course when it’s windy, the sound may not reach us. The answer, possibly is a good sized bell, connected to the gate by some Heath-Robinson-esque contraption with pullies and strings. Now that would be a nice little challenge. Right, first I need a bell …
I so hear you on this one. I really worry that people can’t actually read – no-one seems to see our very large sign on the door and also next to the doorbell which gives our opening times. The best ones are those who ring when we are closed to tell me they want wood for later in the day – yes they tell me, the don’t ask. I think some people have forgotten how to ask politely for things. It is also very true that the more demanding, often rude, people are those who ‘absolutely love what you are doing’ but don’t want to financially support it by buying anything (beyond in our case paying the basic pitch fee) – they are quite happy just taking.
That said, we also come across some lovely, considerate, generous people – but right now at the end of the school holidays my attention gets drawn to their more thoughtless compatriots …….
Oh we have no privacy, people are everywhere on the campsite/smallholding – they even on occasion just walk straight into our house – why?? just why??
Sorry about the rant ….. just smile and wave as the penguins say, just smile and wave …..
The ‘absolutely love …’ line is, we find, invariably the opening gambit of those whose game is to get as much as they can from us – but above all else our time – without themselves giving away anything than their insincere words. Hmm, we’d better leave the subject there!
D > oh yes, Claire, it’s good (sort of) t know it’s not just us! As J says, we’d better leave it at that – we do have treasure trove of anecdotes, though!
I share your frustration. Always difficult to be polite all the time when others aren’t…As the Post Office we are also the (unpaid) tourist information centre. At least our shop is a mile away, so we don’t have our home on display as well.
Oh my gosh! People are unbelievable, aren’t they? This is like the story recently where somone lifted their child into an ancient stone coffin in a museum and damaged a priceless relic!
D > Hah! I do hope the similarity is not THAT great! ;~). But, seriously, I do wonder if, as western societies become increasingly non-religious, they’re also losing sight of their underlying basic codes, including ‘as ye would that others do unto you, do ye even so unto them’. Oddly enough, that’s one that’s one that should be universal. But apparently not.
I can see how tempting it wold be to explore this fascinating patch you call home . . . but, good grief! People are so bold and thoughtless . . .
Well, those are some garden pests you need a new spray for. Respect is a missing commodity these days. Nothing like asking you if you would be willing to show them something in particular or if they paid you for your time. I had some very mean parents growing up and am terribly grateful to them. I was a mean parent as well and my adult children are now grateful. They are welcome anywhere and no one wishes they were gone. Respect is the greatest lesson we can learn. So sorry you are finding so many without it.
J > By ‘mean’ I understand what we would say as strict. Is that correct?
Strict has a slightly different definition for me as that implies caring. But yes, in a way, that is to what I am alluding.
Having had the privilege of visiting, more than once! – I cannot imagine how anyone could think you could just walk in and look around. I think you are amazingly trusting about the shop! Unfortunately, rude people are everywhere. It is very obvious that it is a private space, only to be traversed to make a payment for something from the shop.
J & D > Thank you, Jacalyn. We have begun to doubt whether our expectations are unrealistic.
Lack of respect is in short supply in your garden. I wonder how these folk would feel if you drove up to their gate, got out the car and walked around their garden, peering into their house.
Respect and common sense are sometimes in short supply these days. 🙂 Although based on your panoramic view of your gorgeous garden, it is a good thing you have a gate or everyone going by would be stoping to gawk. 🙂
What the heck! I don’t know how you could make it any clearer. Sigh.
I am so excited to have a view over that wall! I am very mindful and obedient to signs and rules so getting a birds eye view sure means a lot. Some people simply cannot be explained. You hold your ire in check very well I think. Makes me want to think of something fierce to do to them.